Jade Harper
I know it might be wrong
You should know that the music video for “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne has an IMDb
page, and its first tag is “older woman younger man relationship.”
You should also know that the song was adapted into a movie of the same name, revolving
around four adolescent boys’ attempts to seduce the mom of a female friend, which has a
32% on Rotten Tomatoes.
You should also know that the song was produced by Virgin Records.
You should also know that Rachel Hunter, who played Stacy’s Mom in the music video, has
been a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race multiple times.
You should also know that Fountains of Wayne was named after a lawn ornament store of the
same name in Wayne, New Jersey, which was featured in an episode of The Sopranos,
and closed in 2009.
You should also know that in an interview regarding the song, bassist and songwriter Adam
Schlesinger said his grandma was hot.
You should also know that Adam Schlesinger produced several songs for American alt-rock
band They Might Be Giants on their album Mink Car, including “Man, It’s So Loud in
Here,” “Another First Kiss,” and “Yeh Yeh,” though disappointingly he did not produce
the thematically relevant “Your Mom’s Alright,” which was included on some versions of
the album.
You should also know that Mink Car was released on September 11, 2001.
You should also know that Schlesinger collaborated with Sarah Silverman to write a musical
titled The Bedwetter.
You should also know that Schlesinger composed the theme music for the critically panned
Cartoon Network series Supernoobs.
You should also know that the episode titles of Supernoobs are all (with one exception) puns on
the word “noob,” including, but not limited to: “Noob Kid in Town,” “Noob Kids on the
Block,” “The Noob Kids at School,” “Noob-A-Rella,” “20,000 Noobs Under the Sea,”
“A Noob Divided Cannot Noob!,” “Beam Me Up, Nooby,” “Cave Noobs!!,” “Curb Your
Noob,” “Dude, Where’s My Noob?,” “Electric Avenoob,” “Get Your License
Re-Noobed!,” “Go Noob Outside,” “High Noob,” “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Noob It!,”
“Let It Noob, Let It Noob, Let It Noob!,” “Much Anoob About Nothing,” “N-O-O-B
Spells Noob,” “Noob Coloured Glasses,” “Superdoods!” (the only episode title to not
include the word “noob”), “Noobankamun,” “Noobie Noobie Boo!,” “Noobs Just Wanna
Have Fun,” “Nooby Friday,” “Pie-ramid Pizza with Extra Noob!,” “Ring Around the
Noob,” “Shake Your Noobie,” “Spooker Noobs!,” “The Noobie Bluebie Booby” (yes,
really), “To Noob or Not to Noob,” “Tyrannosaurus Noob,” “When We Were Noobs,”
“Who, What, Where and Noob!,” and “The Supernoobs Meet the Incredibly Amazing
Man.”
You should also know that Memnock, an alien secret agent who is a main character in
Supernoobs, is similar to the character of Mr. Black from Supernoobs creator Scott
Fellow’s previous cartoon, Johnny Test, and shares the same voice actor, Bill Mondy, a
connection that has been pointed out on both the Supernoobs and Johnny Test fan wikis.
You should also know that Mr. Black from Johnny Test is white, but is partnered with another
secret agent named Mr. White, who is black.
You should also know that Memnock works with another alien named Zenblock, but while the
Supernoobs wiki page for Zenblock claims that Zenblock was inspired by Mr. White
from Johnny Test, no such connection is made by the Johnny Test wiki.
You should also know that on the Johnny Test fan wiki page for Mr. Black there is a picture
included of Mr. Black after being transformed into a goat, with no explanation of how he
became a goat.
You should also know that Chris Collingwood, the other main member of Fountains of
Wayne, spent a portion of his life in an unnamed pop-country band formerly known as
The Gay Potatoes.
You should also know that one of the few pieces of information available online about the
unnamed band formerly known as The Gay Potatoes is the following poem (?) by a user
on last.fm:
the gay potatoes were pure myth.
they rehearsed once, played twice, and released 3 albums.
they broke up after 4 weeks.
they will reunite and record 4 albums in half that time, and break up again.
until then, there exists only these pitiful live mp3’s.
You should also know that during their final show on New Year’s Eve, 2010, the unnamed band
formerly known as The Gay Potatoes had an official “de-naming ceremony”; they
made it clear that they would not consider an official re-naming, they just wanted to rid
the world of their name and have remained officially nameless to this day.
You should also know that another member of the unnamed band formerly known as The
Gay Potatoes, Phillip Price, formerly had a website called phillipprice.com, and its
domain name is available to purchase for $1,499 US dollars.
You should also know that one of the results that comes up after googling “the gay potatoes” is
an Instagram account called “potatoes.of.lgbt” which describes itself as “LGBT+ Potato
Support” and posts LGBT memes, seemingly all of which, disappointingly, have nothing
to do with potatoes.
You should also know that one of potatoes.of.lgbt’s posts includes a (very cute) drawing of
personified versions of the green and brown M&Ms making out.
You should also know that Urban Dictionary defines a gay potato as “A super gay homo potato
if you managed to ever see this gay potato stay away the gay potato is very dangerous,”
and gives the sentence example “This gay potato ate my baby.”
You should also know that Urban Dictionary defines a potato as “it is the meaning of life.”
You should also know that the song (“Stacy’s Mom”) has often been misattributed to the band
Bowling for Soup, so much that Bowling for Soup covered the song as a B-side to their
single “I’ve Never Done Anything Like This,” the cover of which says “Everyone
thought they did it anyway…so they freakin did it!” and “Finally you can say that this is
your favorite song by BFS and not sound like an idiot!”
You should also know that the other B-side for “I’ve Never Done Anything Like This” was a
remaster of Bowling for Soup’s first major hit, “The Bitch Song.”
You should also know that the cover for “I’ve Never Done Anything Like This” describes
itself as “In eargasmic, ultra clear, mind-blowing stereo sound.”
You should also know that Bowling for Soup’s album releases include The Great Burrito
Extortion Case and Pop Drunk Snot Bread.
You should also know that Bowling for Soup was originally called “Rubberneck,” but they
changed it to “Bowling for Shit” as a reference to Steve Martin’s 1978 comedy special A
Wild and Crazy Guy, but then were forced to modify it to “Bowling for Soup” so they
would actually be able to book shows.
You should also know that this means there is a parallel universe where venues don’t have a
problem with bands having “shit” in their name, in which the Phineas and Ferb theme
song was written by Bowling for Shit.
You should also know that a string quartet called “Well-Strung” wrote a parody of the song
(Stacy’s Mom) entitled “Chelsea’s Mom,” in support of Hillary Clinton’s 2016
presidential campaign.
You should also know that a student from Seward High School in Alaska wrote an article for
their unofficial school newspaper arguing that “Stacy’s Mom” and “Jesse’s Girl” were
written about the same person.
You should also know that said newspaper has a section called “Super Cringy Nerds,” the last
article on which is from March 25th , 2021, and is titled “Super Cringy Nerds Special
Announcement!” with the text “We two nerds have a very special announcement for
everyone!” and nothing else.
You should also know that the website for said newspaper links to Seward High School’s merch
store, which allows you to customize the words “Seward Seahawks” on any item to
whatever you want before you order it, which is how I ended up with a jersey that says,
“Gay Potatoes, Defend this House.”